Tuesday, July 10, 2007
Monday, July 2, 2007
Sunday, June 17, 2007
Post Script ...
Does everybody know about those special council rubbish pick ups that happen a couple of times a year?
The ones where you dump in the front yard all the shit that is too bad for the op shop and too large for the bin?
And then all the povo ferals (students excepted) suddenly appear from nowhere and steal it before it even gets to rubbish pick up day?
Flashback to about half an hour ago:
2.30pm: Paul puts Ansett freight cat carrier, cat bowls with food remains still in them (umm ... our cat died about 18 months ago) and cat scratching post in front of house.
2.35pm: cat carrier and feral cat bowls taken by car driving by. Scratching post is left behind.
What? Our scratching post not scratch-tastic enough for you? Well screw you cat lady!
The ones where you dump in the front yard all the shit that is too bad for the op shop and too large for the bin?
And then all the povo ferals (students excepted) suddenly appear from nowhere and steal it before it even gets to rubbish pick up day?
Flashback to about half an hour ago:
2.30pm: Paul puts Ansett freight cat carrier, cat bowls with food remains still in them (umm ... our cat died about 18 months ago) and cat scratching post in front of house.
2.35pm: cat carrier and feral cat bowls taken by car driving by. Scratching post is left behind.
What? Our scratching post not scratch-tastic enough for you? Well screw you cat lady!
Hello Cool World
The doggy "something big is going down" radar has been working overtime as we get ready to move to Toowoomba.
Over the past three weeks we have been encouraging the dogs to grow their fur and threatening them with visits to Uncle Warney at Advanced Hair Studio if they don't.
(I think Leo and Warney would have lots in common)
We have also updated their wardrobe for their new life in chilly Toowoomba.
Kinta: "It's Poochie Daarling"
(Gucci/Poochie ... get it?)
Leo: "What. the. **ck. Is. With. These. **cking. Ducks?"
Saturday, May 12, 2007
The world is Leo's toilet
$20, a wayward German Shorthaired Pointer and a cock 'n' crap ...
This best describes our Saturday afternoon.
Wanting to give our furkids the physically and mentally-enriching experience of a bush walk ...
(and because we couldn't be arsed having our shoulders dislocated by amphetimine-fuelled kelpies on a mission to pee on as many bushes and sniff as much dirt as possible while still trying to run flat out on a leash)
... we took the dogs on an afternoon walk to a local nature park.
Leisurely? Never.
Eventful? Hell yeah.
Involving poo and pee? Always!
Realising that I hadn't posted a dog blog for a couple of weeks, I took the camera on what is normally a pretty mundane event.
But, luckily, not today.
Exhibit Number One: This is how our dogs "roll" ...
After alighting at the nature park
Leo: "Can't-talk-now-smell-dead-bird"
Cue that music from that scene in Rainman where Tom Cruise has kidnapped Dustin Hoffman from that mental home ..
This best describes our Saturday afternoon.
Wanting to give our furkids the physically and mentally-enriching experience of a bush walk ...
(and because we couldn't be arsed having our shoulders dislocated by amphetimine-fuelled kelpies on a mission to pee on as many bushes and sniff as much dirt as possible while still trying to run flat out on a leash)
... we took the dogs on an afternoon walk to a local nature park.
Leisurely? Never.
Eventful? Hell yeah.
Involving poo and pee? Always!
Realising that I hadn't posted a dog blog for a couple of weeks, I took the camera on what is normally a pretty mundane event.
But, luckily, not today.
Exhibit Number One: This is how our dogs "roll" ...
After alighting at the nature park
(did anybody, ANYBODY detect the "COPS" reference there?)
the dogs did their customary thing of running ahead of us, turning around and running back, running ahead of us again, diverting into the bush when something smelled interesting, then running back to us again ... you get the idea.
Well, this is what Kinta does.
Leo runs ahead ... stops ... turns around and goes back ... does a pee ... scratches up some dirt ... assures himself that he has still got "it"... starts running again ... stops ... turns around and goes back ... does another pee .. scratches up some dirt ... etc etc.
Waaay too much XXXX Gold.
Anway, I was trying to capture the "post-pee scratching up the dirt ecstasy" on camera as it really is quite magical ... (sort of like the doggy equivalent of a really good burn-out)
But, the little bastard either wouldn't scratch up or I missed it with the camera.
I ask Paul to "mark" a tree for me to encourage Leo to urinate (hey, it works in the back yard when we have bbqs).
Paul said no.
Then it happened ... I was all 100% Steve Parrish with the camera ... Leo approaches the bush ... he sniffs .. he cocks his leg ...
he executes what I believe to be the first ever witnessed ...
"cock 'n' crap".
Picture it.
Cock.
Then.
Crap.
I was too busy laughing to take the photo.
Moving right along ... a German short-haired pointer dog emerged from the bush shortly after.
We tried to coax it over to us as we could hear its owner calling it.
But, this pooch took one look at us, remembered watching "Wolf Creek" and ran back to his owners.
In a My Name is Earl-esque moment, I then found a $20 note on the track.
The My Name is Earl reference is because I lost $20 out of my pocket a couple of months ago when I was walking Leo in the ghetto ...
(Bundaberg streets between Walker, Targo, Boundary and the CBD)
... and a feral dog ran towards us teeth bared and snarling while his feral owners looked on.
Karma baby, Karma.
(Karma swiftly translated into 3 x Jacobs Creek whites for $20 at the Old Bundy Tavern)
Poo aside, it was a nice walk and here are some nice, 100% poo reference-less photographs with which to finish this post:
Leo: "Can't-talk-now-smell-dead-bird"
Cue that music from that scene in Rainman where Tom Cruise has kidnapped Dustin Hoffman from that mental home ..
Perfect specimens of Kelpiness ... smart arse comments unrequired.
Sunday, April 29, 2007
Sunday, April 22, 2007
Two kelpies with extra salt please
We ll got up this morning and the sun was shining, the wind wasn't blowing and all was well with the world ...
(except that today is my 31st birthday)
(god that sucks)
As it looked like being such a beautiful day
(and as a way of forgetting that I am now even more freakin older than I was yesterday), we decided to take the puppies out on the boat on the Elliott River.
From the moment that Paul started up the boat and opened up the garage doors, the pups knew something was up.
Kinta is constantly at war with small engines and flips out whenever one starts up.
She used to try and bite the tyres of the quad bike on the farm and would bark at it whenever Paul started it up.
The mower and whippersnipper also incur her wrath.
All it took today was for her to hear the beep of the outboard and she launched into what we like to call "All Two-strokes Must Die".
However, this doesn't stop Kinta launching into the water and swimming like Thorpey on crack.
(Or what I imagine Thorpey on crack to swim like if he was on crack, which of course he isn't)
Leo is more of a poser than an athlete at the beach ... he just struts around on the shore in his white budgie smugglers, showing off his doghood to the laaadies.
But they both HATE it when one of us goes completely underwater. I was snorkelling on the surface today and when I went under Leo came swimming toward me barking and trying to touch my head.
When Paul jumped off the side of the boat to snorkel and the dogs and I stayed in the boat, Kinta went crazy yelping and barking and trying to jump over the side to reach him.
Anway, lots of fun had by all and we now have two very salty, very tired dogs in the backyard.
Kinta: "Thank heavens you're back Captain. I was about to throw Commander Kris in the brig and assume control of this vessel. Seaman Leo: as you were."
(except that today is my 31st birthday)
(god that sucks)
As it looked like being such a beautiful day
(and as a way of forgetting that I am now even more freakin older than I was yesterday), we decided to take the puppies out on the boat on the Elliott River.
From the moment that Paul started up the boat and opened up the garage doors, the pups knew something was up.
Kinta is constantly at war with small engines and flips out whenever one starts up.
She used to try and bite the tyres of the quad bike on the farm and would bark at it whenever Paul started it up.
The mower and whippersnipper also incur her wrath.
All it took today was for her to hear the beep of the outboard and she launched into what we like to call "All Two-strokes Must Die".
However, this doesn't stop Kinta launching into the water and swimming like Thorpey on crack.
(Or what I imagine Thorpey on crack to swim like if he was on crack, which of course he isn't)
Leo is more of a poser than an athlete at the beach ... he just struts around on the shore in his white budgie smugglers, showing off his doghood to the laaadies.
But they both HATE it when one of us goes completely underwater. I was snorkelling on the surface today and when I went under Leo came swimming toward me barking and trying to touch my head.
When Paul jumped off the side of the boat to snorkel and the dogs and I stayed in the boat, Kinta went crazy yelping and barking and trying to jump over the side to reach him.
Anway, lots of fun had by all and we now have two very salty, very tired dogs in the backyard.
Kinta: "Thank heavens you're back Captain. I was about to throw Commander Kris in the brig and assume control of this vessel. Seaman Leo: as you were."
Leo:
"In the navy Yes, you can sail the seven seas
In the navy Yes, you can put your mind at ease
In the navy Come on now, people, make a stand
In the navy, in the navy Can't you see we need a hand
They want you, they want you, they want you as a new recruit ...
Holy shit that's a big bird!"
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